Media Uses Our Personal Insecurities To Keep Us From Finding And Expressing Our Style

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Not long ago, I read a title on the prestigious styledotcom prophesying about the diy haircuts as the new ‘it’. Not the new ‘hair it’, no, the new ‘it’. Apparently, this big shot stylist designing for this big fashion house was bringing ‘diy haircut’ back on the catwalk, into the spotlight in her latest collection.

I was naturally attracted by this bait-type title (who wouldn’t want to save extra $ by cutting their hair at home and be mega fashion avant-garde as well?) and I was puzzled to read a story about models in a fashion show who received a blunt faux fringe for the defile and about their haircut stories… Umm – where’s the diy haircut thingie then? (see what I meant with the ‘bait title’? – less substance, more shock – they must’ve been avid daily mail readers)

how media manipulates us into thinking we have no style

As it turns out, having a relatively bad looking haircut or a ‘chopped’ haircut is what fashion people know as ‘diy haircut’. Because all those who do stuff at home, do it poorly, with no aesthetic sense whatsoever and not a care in the world about appeal or symmetry. Oh! The ignorance!

Honestly: What is Fashion to you?

However, pretentious s#it makes the fashion world go round and, sadly, many contribute to this aura of mystery and preciousness that fashion instills as an industry. I cut my hair at home for over 2 years and I’ve never been happier (or my hair looked better). Never has anyone asked me if I cut my hair at home or if I visit a hairstylist. Those who know me well, know that I had taken the scissors matters into my own hands because I was tired with hairstylists who didn’t understand my hair.

new hair trend as seen on the catwalk vetements fw17

Now as styledotcom sees it and forecasts it, people who make it obvious that they have no hairstylist (or hairstyle) are the new objects of hair envy. Why – might you ask out loud – why would a reputed fashion website would want us to screw our hair? We’ve been repeatedly told that a diy haircut is a bad idea, that we’ll end up in a total utter hairmess and we’d go crawling, weeping to the most expensive hairstylist near us to fix our hair disaster?!

Handpicked: 10 Style Rules to dress and live by!

The answer is simple, really! Because fashion professionals don’t want regular folks to find their style senses on their own – God Forbid! – in the comfort of their own home! Nah! They want us to babble, to feel insecure and asphyxiated by our uncertainties so we can trust them completely, blindly. To surrender to this magazine, this hairstylist, this beautician, this nutritionist, this stylist, that image consultant, this decorator, that psychiatrist – the list could go on endlessly! Recognize any of it?

media distorted weight reality

Remember when there was a time when you thought you used fashion to enhance your assets and better drape your so-called flaws? – who called them flaws to begin with? I mean… anything other than size zero is a flaw? When was zero ever perfection? I mean… it’s ‘nothing’ after all. Zero. When was nothing ever a reference to something? Just think about it, ladies! Why would you be flawed just because this magazine said so? And why would you be unfit for fashion just because that TV stylist is trying to raise the audience ratings?

Here are: The simple rules of mixing&matching to get the right outfits!

We are all wonderful, just the way we are! If we were all alike, we’d be nothing but robots. Thankfully, life is diverse, we are diverse, our styles should be diverse. It’s ok! Millions buy the same magazine every month, trying to mimic the style and the fashion, the beauty and the lifestyle ideas found in its pages – but those are words on paper! Many a times sponsored content by this and that brand who pay serious money to get positive magazines columns to pass as honest, objective reviews. Believe me, I actually know from the inside -_^ .

media distorted trends reality

I know you think people actually studied hard to get a fashion job (be it makeup artist/stylist/hairstylist/image consultant/designer and so on) – but we all know how the educational system works – even if it’s fashion, education is still trying to bring all people to the same common grounds. To the same level, the same patterns of thinking and acting. But what happened to ‘we are all unique’? Is that just a phrase to boost people’s egos into buying more? Methinks so…

media distorted cooking reality

See also: The 10 golden style rules to embrace right now!

We’re not mindless, you see! If we want to cut our own hair at home, we would be definitely using the right tools, the right moves. Youtube and Pinterest make it possible (even the mighty HP was dazed about a particular IG account with instructions to cutting one’s bangs at home)! We can find anything and everything diy-wise on these platforms! It’s not like we’re trying to bake a cake with the wrong ingredients, right? I mean, if they can assume that we can bake by following a set of instructions, why wouldn’t they assume we could cut our own hair by following simple instructions?

Or sew our own clothes? Or paint our own walls? Or dress the right way?

Yesterday was International Women’s Day: Happy Women’s Day, my friends! Don’t let others tell you you’re not good enough to make the right decisions about you! Don’t let anyone dull your sparkle, don’t let anything stand in the way of feeling happy with yourself!

You are wonderful! You’re a miracle just being! Don’t forget that! Why would you let others take care of your miracle?

media distorted reality smart

(this is yet another episode about finding your own style, your own voice and the power to be loud and proud about who you are! We’ll pick up that topic in the future, over and over again, to convince you that you need to recover your self-trust – fashion wise and otherwise! Now excuse me while I storm out the door to school to pick up my hungry, loud and messy kids. My four tiny miracles ^_^ )


#1 Cheryl on 03.09.16 at 9:36 pm

It was this attitude that made me fire the salon. I went to a new place after I moved away from the ONLY stylist who ever listened to me and treated me like a person and a valued customer. I waited nearly an hour after my appointment time, the rude stylist pulled my hair when he attempted to comb it. He jerked my head around, rather than asking me to look up, right, tilt my head, etc. like my old stylist did. I told him up front that I don’t want a razor or thinning years used on my head. He cut my layers too short and I heard him tearing my hair with the razor, I asked him to stop, he continued, I asked him again to stop and in a shrill voice, he told me, “you don’t tell me how to cut hair”! He burned my scalp with the blow dryer and when it was done the bill was $30 higher than I was told upfront. I paid, with a tip, which I regret and walked out to my car and broke out in tears.

That is what we are supposed to rush to the salon to be abused, while they call it pampering. No more. I let my new boyfriend give me a haircut shortly after we started dating because I dreaded going to the salon. He did a great job and has been my stylist ever since. He sees pro grade shears and does the full sectioning, pinning up and trimming each layer of my hair taking off only the amount I ask. Takes him about 35-40 minutes to do a detailed trim to remove my split and damaged ends with scissors only. He colors my hair as well, and I get stopped, complimented and asked where I got my hair done. I know he has fixed bad salon haircuts for female friends, but I have asked him to do mine only. I don’t want strange women stopping by.

He can cook better than me, he cooks from scratch and we talk trash who is the better cook. We like restaurants, but also enjoy oozing together and eating in. Based on the hair and beauty fasc!st rules, we shouldn’t attempt to cook at home or shop in the grocery store. I post pictures of the food we cook online and my friends call it food p*rn. My coworker just can’t believe that I suggest something and he buys the ingredients and cooks it from scratch. We each have master degrees, so we are not stupid people to be scolded as incompetent idiots by people who barely made it through high school. So when I hear a hairdresser tell me I should not let a non licensed person cut my hair, he will ruin it. I ask where they got their bachelor’s degree and how much post graduate level work they have done, it usually causes them to stop being insulting, and back track from telling me they are smarter than we are.

#2 kpriss on 03.10.16 at 11:41 pm

Thank you Cheryl! Your story is inspiring and encouraging! I hope more people will read you and be brave and break free from all these restrains media have instilled in us! You’ve had the courage and you not only survived, but also thrived from your decision!

don’t regret the tip (or anything from that day) – it was your ‘liberation tax’ ;-) . Some people get so blinded by their ego and become falsely important in their heads that they cannot see the truth anymore. And sadly they may never tell truth from ego ever again. But that is their choice and we can always make ours. Better, smarter, happier! And to me, you sound like a perfectly happy (hair-wise and otherwise) individual right now! Well done for you! Keep on being true to yourself and thank you again for sharing <3

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