No Talk Like The Fashion Talk

You may be familiar with the rules of fashion talk. And even if you’re not, you will still enjoy this as it decrypts one of the languages of one of the universes existent and known at the moment: the fashverse. Which is much like our own universe only with beautiful, skinny people and lots of clothing and accessories.

The lovely Garance Dore who is one of the special correspondents in the fashverse and who is constantly reporting news and images from beyond the fashborder has a new insightful report for us: from now on, the fashtalking people would hold no secrets from us anymore. For we know why talking and thinking fashion means!

[…]Oh wow, you look so… Healthy! = Is that a muffin top that’s about to pop out of your jeans?
Oh wow, you got a new haircut! It’s really quite… Editorial! = You serious? What the hell is that on top of your head? […]

This cream is amazing. It has a base made entirely from oxygen! It costs $1,200 but, you know, oxygen is really rare! Your skin is dry with a tendency toward oily. You’re going to need three different moisturizers, one for the cheeks, one for the forehead, and another for the chin. And don’t forget the eye cream. Should I wrap it up for you? […]

Black sunglasses = I just pulled an all-nighter. I have such a steamier life than you, you prude.
I’m not wearing any makeup = No need to be beautiful. In the fashion world, all you need is to be skinny, stylish. …And wear black sunglasses.